Understanding Church Trauma
Ministering to Victims of Hurtful Churches
Introduction
The church can be an environment where people experience mistreatment, injury and deep pain. Many people carry with them pain that prevents them from experiencing a healthy relationship with God and with others. We need to be aware of what causes injury, reduce those causes and effectively minister to the victims of hurtful churches.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
Overview of the presentation
1. Purposes
2. What is church trauma?
-Who gets hurt in churches?
-Who hurts them?
-How do people get hurt in churches?
-How do hurts impact them?
3. Responses
-How can it be prevented/reduced?
-How can we minister to victims?
4. Feedback – comments and questions
Purposes for today’s presentation:
Increase your awareness of and understanding of the problem
Open the door to further discussion
Encourage you to create a healing community (a church that heals vs. one that hurts)
Offer suggestions to minister to the traumatized
What is church trauma?
Physical Trauma = a wound to the body produced by sudden injury as from violence or accident.
Psychological Trauma = an experience that produces psychological injury or pain
Church Trauma = A debilitating mental, emotional and spiritual state experienced by an individual who has been mistreated, injured or abused by someone or something in the church community.
(A spiritually traumatic experience is one that occurs within a church community that results in emotional pain, fear, anger and/or distress. )
We’d like to compare it to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
We want to coin a new term
PTCSD = Post Traumatic Church Stress Disorder
We think that by understanding PTSD you will better understand PTCSD
Symptoms of people who suffer from PTSD
Bad dreams
Flashbacks
Fearful thoughts
Avoiding people, places and things that remind you of what happened
Feelings of worry, guilt or sadness
Feeling alone
Trouble sleeping
Thoughts of hurting themselves - suicide
What causes PTSD?
Living through or seeing something that is dangerous or threatening
Examples:
War or combat
Being a victim of or seeing violence
Death or serious illness of a loved one
Car accidents – place crashes (9-11) World Trade Center
Hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, tsunamis, fires, explosions
Who gets hurt in churches and how do they get hurt?
Potentially everyone. No one is immune.
Church leaders
-Preachers
-Elders – they can be attacked
-Deacons – perceived mistreatment (failure to recognize them and their work, esp if they see others being
recognized for doing less)
Ministry leaders
Volunteers – being fired (excused)
The regular members
Women, girls and boys – sexual abuse
Who are the perpetrators? (the offenders)
Individuals
Groups – the elders (not allowing the preacher to lead) – your assemblies do more harm than good
Systems – theology, policies, certain traditions (ex. Sponsoring baby showers for single moms)
What they have in common is that they exercise some kind of power or influence over the victim.
Ways people experience church trauma (forms of mistreatment and ways injury is inflicted)
Church controversy and division
1 Corinthians 11:17
In the following directives I have no praise for you, for your meetings do more harm than good.
Legalism (a form of control) – the enforcement of man-made rules
Matthew 23: 1Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: 2 “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. 3 So you must obey them and do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. 4 They tie up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.
Gal 1 6 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel — 7 which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ….10 Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?
Theological (not allowing for discussion of Scripture – its expression and application)
-You must believe this way because that’s what I believe
-Younger ministers (preachers’ forum) a distinctive divide between younger and older
Financial
– members. Ex. There is a church that required members to submits their W2 forms
-preachers (muzzling the ox while he is treading on the grain)
"The Last Straw" – people have so many burdens, this is added on top of those. It is too much.
Neglect – people come for help (with life) and there is none
Matt 25
31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left…..41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’45 “He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ 46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life. ”
Ezekiel 34
34 The word of the Lord came to me: 2 “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Woe to the shepherds of Israel who only take care of themselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? 3 You eat the curds, clothe yourselves with the wool and slaughter the choice animals, but you do not take care of the flock. 4 You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally. 5 So they were scattered because there was no shepherd, and when they were scattered they became food for all the wild animals. 6 My sheep wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. They were scattered over the whole earth, and no one searched or looked for them.
Sexual abuse
Women, girls and boys
RECAP
Definition: A debilitating mental, emotional and spiritual state experienced by an individual who has been mistreated, injured or abused by someone or something in the church community.
Everyone is a possible victim
One common thread: power and control
People experience it from various sources and events
What are the effects of the hurt?
Overall, it creates a barrier between the person and God and the person and others (the church)
It causes distance, estrangement
It causes people to fall away
Distance from God:
Anger with God
Difficult to accept God’s forgiveness
-False guilt (a victim of sexual abuse)
Diminished commitment
-No involvement with the Word
-No prayer
-feelings of weakness
Lack of trust
Distance from others (the church)
Anger, bitterness, fear, criticism
No fellowship
An, “I’m finished with them” attitude
Causes a disconnect (I thought the church was to be a place of healing) confusion
(like what happens when a person goes to the hospital and they contract another illness)
Lack of trust
Distance from Self:
Depression
Embarrassment
Grief
Guilt
Fear
Confusion about one’s identity (without church)
Feelings of regret
A secondary impact: the victim’s family – collateral damage
The person is injured
No Bible reading, prayer, fellowship
(impacts the family)
How can it be prevented/reduced/addressed?
Work to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (unity must be valued)
Create an atmosphere of open communication with leaders
Eliminate legalism
Embrace grace (Jesus demonstrated grace
John 6 woman caught in the act of adultery
She was Broken
Humiliated
Her very life was being threatened
She was being used and manipulated to test Jesus
Jesus expressed to her healing grace
Seek to create an environment for healing not hurting (Ill. Hospitals – you go there to get well)
Fortify our people spiritually and in all other ways
- some of the research that the National Institute of Mental Health in partnership with the US Army is that they are trying to understand why some people are more resilient to stress.
How can we minister to victims?
Listen to the victims.
Believe their stories. (It’s their perception of what happened)
Don’t try to minimize.
Don’t give quick, trivial solutions (Let go and let God)
Suffer with the person
Take proper action (ex. Sexual abuse must be exposed)
Confess and ask for forgiveness (as a church leader)
Refer to counseling (Biblical) to help process deeper issues
Conclusion: Let's be like Jesus. Give rest to the burdened and weary.
Steps back to God: prayer, the Word, friendship
Steps back to the church: trust
Ministering to Victims of Hurtful Churches
Introduction
The church can be an environment where people experience mistreatment, injury and deep pain. Many people carry with them pain that prevents them from experiencing a healthy relationship with God and with others. We need to be aware of what causes injury, reduce those causes and effectively minister to the victims of hurtful churches.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
Overview of the presentation
1. Purposes
2. What is church trauma?
-Who gets hurt in churches?
-Who hurts them?
-How do people get hurt in churches?
-How do hurts impact them?
3. Responses
-How can it be prevented/reduced?
-How can we minister to victims?
4. Feedback – comments and questions
Purposes for today’s presentation:
Increase your awareness of and understanding of the problem
Open the door to further discussion
Encourage you to create a healing community (a church that heals vs. one that hurts)
Offer suggestions to minister to the traumatized
What is church trauma?
Physical Trauma = a wound to the body produced by sudden injury as from violence or accident.
Psychological Trauma = an experience that produces psychological injury or pain
Church Trauma = A debilitating mental, emotional and spiritual state experienced by an individual who has been mistreated, injured or abused by someone or something in the church community.
(A spiritually traumatic experience is one that occurs within a church community that results in emotional pain, fear, anger and/or distress. )
We’d like to compare it to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
We want to coin a new term
PTCSD = Post Traumatic Church Stress Disorder
We think that by understanding PTSD you will better understand PTCSD
Symptoms of people who suffer from PTSD
Bad dreams
Flashbacks
Fearful thoughts
Avoiding people, places and things that remind you of what happened
Feelings of worry, guilt or sadness
Feeling alone
Trouble sleeping
Thoughts of hurting themselves - suicide
What causes PTSD?
Living through or seeing something that is dangerous or threatening
Examples:
War or combat
Being a victim of or seeing violence
Death or serious illness of a loved one
Car accidents – place crashes (9-11) World Trade Center
Hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, tsunamis, fires, explosions
Who gets hurt in churches and how do they get hurt?
Potentially everyone. No one is immune.
Church leaders
-Preachers
-Elders – they can be attacked
-Deacons – perceived mistreatment (failure to recognize them and their work, esp if they see others being
recognized for doing less)
Ministry leaders
Volunteers – being fired (excused)
The regular members
Women, girls and boys – sexual abuse
Who are the perpetrators? (the offenders)
Individuals
Groups – the elders (not allowing the preacher to lead) – your assemblies do more harm than good
Systems – theology, policies, certain traditions (ex. Sponsoring baby showers for single moms)
What they have in common is that they exercise some kind of power or influence over the victim.
Ways people experience church trauma (forms of mistreatment and ways injury is inflicted)
Church controversy and division
1 Corinthians 11:17
In the following directives I have no praise for you, for your meetings do more harm than good.
Legalism (a form of control) – the enforcement of man-made rules
Matthew 23: 1Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: 2 “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. 3 So you must obey them and do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. 4 They tie up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.
Gal 1 6 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel — 7 which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ….10 Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?
Theological (not allowing for discussion of Scripture – its expression and application)
-You must believe this way because that’s what I believe
-Younger ministers (preachers’ forum) a distinctive divide between younger and older
Financial
– members. Ex. There is a church that required members to submits their W2 forms
-preachers (muzzling the ox while he is treading on the grain)
"The Last Straw" – people have so many burdens, this is added on top of those. It is too much.
Neglect – people come for help (with life) and there is none
Matt 25
31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left…..41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’45 “He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ 46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life. ”
Ezekiel 34
34 The word of the Lord came to me: 2 “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Woe to the shepherds of Israel who only take care of themselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? 3 You eat the curds, clothe yourselves with the wool and slaughter the choice animals, but you do not take care of the flock. 4 You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally. 5 So they were scattered because there was no shepherd, and when they were scattered they became food for all the wild animals. 6 My sheep wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. They were scattered over the whole earth, and no one searched or looked for them.
Sexual abuse
Women, girls and boys
RECAP
Definition: A debilitating mental, emotional and spiritual state experienced by an individual who has been mistreated, injured or abused by someone or something in the church community.
Everyone is a possible victim
One common thread: power and control
People experience it from various sources and events
What are the effects of the hurt?
Overall, it creates a barrier between the person and God and the person and others (the church)
It causes distance, estrangement
It causes people to fall away
Distance from God:
Anger with God
Difficult to accept God’s forgiveness
-False guilt (a victim of sexual abuse)
Diminished commitment
-No involvement with the Word
-No prayer
-feelings of weakness
Lack of trust
Distance from others (the church)
Anger, bitterness, fear, criticism
No fellowship
An, “I’m finished with them” attitude
Causes a disconnect (I thought the church was to be a place of healing) confusion
(like what happens when a person goes to the hospital and they contract another illness)
Lack of trust
Distance from Self:
Depression
Embarrassment
Grief
Guilt
Fear
Confusion about one’s identity (without church)
Feelings of regret
A secondary impact: the victim’s family – collateral damage
The person is injured
No Bible reading, prayer, fellowship
(impacts the family)
How can it be prevented/reduced/addressed?
Work to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (unity must be valued)
Create an atmosphere of open communication with leaders
Eliminate legalism
Embrace grace (Jesus demonstrated grace
John 6 woman caught in the act of adultery
She was Broken
Humiliated
Her very life was being threatened
She was being used and manipulated to test Jesus
Jesus expressed to her healing grace
Seek to create an environment for healing not hurting (Ill. Hospitals – you go there to get well)
Fortify our people spiritually and in all other ways
- some of the research that the National Institute of Mental Health in partnership with the US Army is that they are trying to understand why some people are more resilient to stress.
How can we minister to victims?
Listen to the victims.
Believe their stories. (It’s their perception of what happened)
Don’t try to minimize.
Don’t give quick, trivial solutions (Let go and let God)
Suffer with the person
Take proper action (ex. Sexual abuse must be exposed)
Confess and ask for forgiveness (as a church leader)
Refer to counseling (Biblical) to help process deeper issues
Conclusion: Let's be like Jesus. Give rest to the burdened and weary.
Steps back to God: prayer, the Word, friendship
Steps back to the church: trust